What shape AM I in?

I have been here before. This isn’t the worst shape I have been in but let’s not aim to win hitting a new rock bottom. It’s still really bad that I have got to this point again. The easy way out would be to blame this on having a kid and being over worked and…and…. and….

No. I let this happen and now it’s time to try and dig back out.

So, what kind of weight are we talking about. Doctors would call this morbid obesity. I call it “Never want to be seen in a swimsuit” overweight. I am currently 258 pounds on a 5-foot 9-inch former athletic frame give or take an inch or a pound depending on who is measuring me. If I go by the “ideal weight” standard that means I am 90 pounds overweight. I don’t even think in high school when I was working out up to 9 times a week, I was 150 pounds thin.

But if that was all that was wrong with me, this part of my life would be simple to get back in shape. Nope. I am what my mother calls me “made wrong” though that is a big exaggeration for effect. Nope I have been diagnosed with migraines with auras, polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), sleep apnea and eczema.

My migraines mean I feel constant pressure changes when weather moves too quickly that mean I lose an entire day to try and feel my normal. I take daily medication to keep them to HOPEFULLY twice a month. And my onset medication works but also leaves me mind numb and exhausted for 24 hours. If that wasn’t enough the auras add an extra “spice” to life. I have had everything from temporary loss of speech, visual loss in one eye, loss of being able to read, loss of feeling up to my elbow in one arm, light sensitivity, and my personal favorite, temperature sensations where they don’t exist (think of a spot on your body all the sudden feeling like it is on fire, or someone put ice on your skin…. ya… real fun). I have been to the emergency room at least once because of my migraines though in hindsight it should have been higher, but I am too stubborn to pay the emergency room bills.

My PCOS diagnosis has been an interesting journey. Isn’t it normal for females not to have a period but maybe once a year? Oh… right. Not normal. I had a really doctor ask to run some tests before sending me to an endocrinologist who told me that my original doctor did everything but give me the diagnosis. PCOS comes with insulin resistance. It’s not diabetes but if not managed it quickly can turn into it. So began the knowledge that if I don’t take medication or watch what types of foods, I eat there is lurking type-2 diabetes in my future. In addition to that, PCOS does exactly what it sounds like; it creates benign cysts on my ovaries which in addition to what has already been mentioned means fertility issues. But wait, you said, you have a child. Yep after 4 miscarriages at a time when I was thinner. I am a lucky one.

The sleep apnea has been a long history since I was a kid. At one point I early on I was referred to a Nose, Throat and Ear (ENT) specialist who eventually took out my tonsils thinking that my tonsil on the right which was blocking my airway MAY be cancerous and help with the snoring. Nope. But years later one of my neurologists thought it might be good to go back to a ENT to make sure the sleep apnea wasn’t making my migraines worse. So now I have an “equipment”. Not a mouth guard. Think of a mouth guard with bottom fangs. Yep. I put that in my mouth every night. Although I do admit it has helped my sleeping and jaw, the ENT would also like to go back in and widen my narrow airways to completely solve the apnea. I am still on the fence on that.

Lastly (and hopefully it is the last thing), the eczema. This is a purely stress and vampire-like-behavior reaction. When I haven’t been in the sun much and I have sustained high stress, my body likes to remind me that I am in the wrong by causing my skin to flaky which is SO itchy you want to scratch your skin off. Thankfully it usually pops up in places that don’t cause people to gawk at me like I have a 1930’s version of leprosy or some other believed to be contagious disease but it still doesn’t instill confidence or a desire to be out in the open.

Are there any good things I am doing? Well I am taking my medication….. most days when I remember. I try not to eat completely trash like I did the last time (college tends to lend eating fast food more days than not). I do sleep….. ok so not 7 hours but at least it’s on average 6 hours a night which is close. Yea. I got some work to do.

First steps are always the hardest…….